For the lucky portion of the population who have 20/20 vision, it’s almost impossible to understand the struggles experienced by those who don’t; especially on a night on the town, where the dangers of alcohol-enthused hugs, jostling arms in clubs and uneven pavements are rife.
For the regular functional-blind Joe there are three options; glasses, contacts, or throw in the towel.
Accept your night for the blurry mess of confusion it will be, and go naked.
Here are the things you need to consider when making the brave decision to socialize with spectacles.
Everyone will want to wear your specs.
Hold onto them like they are your first-born.
This is not a problem isolated to going out, of course, but alcohol will generally lower the inhibitions of the spectacle-curious.
Any regular wearer of glasses will already be wary of the seemingly-polite, “I love your glasses” comment, which boasts an almost 100% probability of declining into “…So, can I try them on?.”
Assuming that you were even asked in the first place, and not just rudely parted from your fashionable, expensive and crucial eyewear.
Inevitably you will spend a portion of the evening squinting into your vodka mixer whilst your friends helpfully determine that you are, in fact, blind.
Make sure your frames & eye-makeup work in harmony.
If nobody can see your glorious eyeliner flick from behind your frames, is it even there?
Was it worth the twenty minute screaming fit and half a bottle of remover necessary to perfecting it?
That said, most bars and clubs are relatively dark, so the quality of your makeup is really only for yourself anyway, regardless of whether you’re wearing glasses or not.
Also, by having a look at these tips from Bobbi Brown that will ensure you are doing everything you can to make those eye pop on a dance floor.
Accept the fact that things are going to get steamy.
After queuing in the Arctic, where any warmth from the previous drinks was seeped away with the first icy gust of vomit-tinted wind, finally being granted entry brings relief and annoyance in equal measure.
As you are hit with the insurmountable wall of energized dance and people sweat, you experience the immediate fogging up that is the dreaded nightmare of every spectacle-wearer.
Resign yourself to void for a few minutes- your lack of vision accentuating the overjoyed voices around you that are shouting, ‘you look like you could use some windscreen wipers!’- and wait patiently for the low return of your vision.
Try and avoid particularly humid areas like the glass washer by the bar, or any and all dark corners that random strangers use to “get to know each other.”
Try these pretty rainbow ray bans for your next outing:
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